I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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