This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
