i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
