got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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