This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
