My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
