Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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