What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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