Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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