o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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