I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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