i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she smelled like a LAN party
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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