You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
