Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
