when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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