She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
