she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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