$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
