Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
