it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
