hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Houston, we have a blender
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
