It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
