Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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