I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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