I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
