Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
