You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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