u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
