Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
