ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
