I hate your face
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it's not cheating when I paid for it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
