Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
