I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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