you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
