And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
