with your own penis?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
