I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
