I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im holly from the hills drunk
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
