You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
