Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
