Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
