your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
