So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
