In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
