Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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