I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
