I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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