Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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