he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
