remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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